I also retract some of my previous statements from my Guitars being better than girls bit. Guitars are just better than a lot of girls.

I just wrote a five page essay on Plato's Republic for my political theory class 10 days before it's actually due. I know, highly out of character. I guess the way my life has been going is pretty out of character for me. I'm a pretty happy dude at this junction. As happy as an over analytic asshole such as myself can be, but happy none the less. School is good, thus far. I've been regularly attending classes (with one exception but eating breakfast and watching the office with a certain person is far more important to me). I am currently listening to Mouth of the Architect. Really good, epic stuff, not to mention this feeling of anticipation that arises from a connection I make to this past summer(summer's over, weird?). It makes me wish I was in my car heading north. Sadly, I am just waiting.

"Patriotism isn't tying a ribbon to a tree. True patriotism is killing your own children if they threaten the survival or expansion of the state"

1. Cooking is meant to happen over fire. It's a known fact. Electric stoves and microwaves are for pussies. I know I'm not one to support old shitty traditions but cooking over fire is one that is here to stay and I will continue to embrace it like your mom embraces me.
2. The fresh air that comes with the extra time outside is a great bonus and it makes me want to chop down a tree or run over a squirrel with a lawn mower.
3. MEAT
4. It's a real center piece for a social gathering of some sort. Though I'm rather independent and don't spend that much time in a social setting, Barbeques are the big exception. There is nothing like getting together wit' ya boys and eating some burger.
5. Teriyaki everything
6. Meat that has been cooked over fire goes great with corn on the cobb. I love corn on the cobb.
7. The smell of flesh dripping grease over flames is a fragrance that is unrivaled by anything known to man.
8. MEAT
9. It's a very patriotic way to cook. If I'm not grilling all summer the terrorists have one. When was the last time you saw an Al Queda BBQ? Those assholes don't grill shit and that's why they are so pissed. They don't get to enjoy the stupendous grilling that you and I do and then they knock down some towers.
10. MEAT

Disclaimer: I don't hate girls. There are just like 7 of them I think are actually good people I would want to talk to and I just think guitars are a better investment. Also, since this is the first installment. There may be some issues with grammer and spelling. Please do your best to ignore such problems.

This first piece of my series of rants about stupid shit is on a very controvercial subject. The subject is girls and why they are not as good as guitars. I think the only people who would say girls are better than guitars are probably metro-sexual wanna be sensitive faggots, who, in reality, crazy man meat at all times. In this essay/article I am go to lay down the main reason you should probably dump your girlfriend and pick up and axe and start wailing.

Part 1- Anatomy:Where is a girls volume knob or standby switch?

Girls can really be annoying, they have this grudge against logic and common sense and flap their lips about dumb crap way too much. To quote a short story I read recently, they "crap in my oatmeal" and are holding everyone down. If i have to hear one more comment about cute boots or sunglasses that make someone look like a goshdarn bug I will slit their throat. Your boots aren't cute. They aren't practical. They look dumber than the dumbest redneck that voted for bush. I'm sick of this "boo hoo, I'm a delicate flower and can't read the fucking lab book, can you give me the answers cause I'm sooo pretty" shit. Just cause you make some dudes pop a boner doesn't mean you deserve a free ride through shit. You're a bitch. Go in the corner and shut up. The main issue with this is you have no control over girls. If a girl talks to much you can just turn the volume down or play a differant chord to make things less irritating. Girls don't have a standby switch or a noise supresser to stop feedback. Guitars rule. Guitars are at your command. If it's being annoying that's your fault and you need to look at yourself and fix it. Since when do guitars get annoying? They don't because, they rule. When guitars get louder it's boner inducing but if a girl gets loud I wanna die.

Part 2 - Pre-creation: What if I want kids?

Adopt a BOY to mold into a future rocker and buy a fleshlight. That is all.

Part 3 - Financial Aspect: Which is a better investment?

This one is kinda tough at first. To get a good guitar rig some mad cash has to be tossed around. I mean I spend 1500 on my amp alone. Generally, you don't toss that type of money into the picture right off with girls. It does add up over time. First they're like "buy me dinner". The it moves on to "buy me some shitty boots". It just gets worse and worse until you make the mistake of getting married and it turns to "buy me a house". Then your just screwed cause your in debt for the rest of your life. The other alternative is you run out of cash they then they get a new guy with bigger muscles and more cash. Guitar equipment is a one time thing. You get a great rig and your set for life. The gear isn't going anywhere when you're out of cash. And if the times get really rough you can sell your gear and get some of the money invested back. I know for a fact you cannot sell a girl. Believe me, I've tried.

Part 4 - Emotional Connection: Who will be there for me?

First of all, only queers have emotions other than pissed, super pissed and stoked and super stoked. But a guitar connects so much more than a girl. A guitar understands, it really does. A guitar doesn't try to bog you down on the rough days with their own retarded baggage. The guitar is their for you and as I mentioned earlier the guitar will continue to be there for you.

In conclusion, guitars are a million times sweeter than girls. Guitars rock and make life better while girls are just a bummout. Buy a guitar, don't get a girlfriend.

In the end you just need to decide which is better?
This

Or this?

I've decided to write in this now even though no one is reading. I will not write about traditional things such as what I did today or about how I have a crush on a girl and she doesn't like me and I'm gonna kill myself. That shit, whil it can be funny and amusing for you, it not funny and amusing to me. I will now dedicate this journal to essays and rants on topics of my choosing.

coming soon!!

-why guitars are better than girls.
-the sea hag
-my secret to hard riffage
-and much more!

I recently wrote a bunch of poetry to aid my ailing heart. in reality I wrote them because it was a requirement of my creative writing class. I will now proceed to post said poems. Oh and by the way the new Permanent record is mind blowingly good. http://www.myspace.com/permanent

enjoy the poems, I know i did

Dinner is Served

It’s been a bad day
buffalo chicken sandwich
never mind, yummy



Untitled

Falling and flailing
Dreamless and directionless
I wall create a unicorn
from my blue play dough
Henry will be its name
have you heard henry’s scream?
It’s quit nice
In that exquisite,
bone crushing piercing
kind of way
now
show your unicorn to its emperor



Smelly Roommate

something smells downstairs
I know what odor plagues me
at least he pays rent



Goin’ AWOL

I’m not doing this on purpose
I don’t want to go awol
so stop reminding me that is
what’s happening

Your joyous songs...
make me wish i was dead
When are the new oldies coming out?
Andy is so sick of the old ones



Ringworm

Ringworm, holy shit
I’m going to slap your mom
Not even sorry



The Promise

Thirty three minutes
Fifty nine seconds
Train of thought has altered
I am sorry, that was appalling
This won’t happen again

glassjaw on thursday. that is all.

FOOTSTEPS

need i say more?

"I got no soul I'm just an empty shell
I'm stomping devils on all nine levels of hell"

really I don't need to say anything else. This concludes the first insallment of my "Shipwreck Rules" segment

http://www.myspace.com/shipwreckmv